i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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