Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
