Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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