"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
