i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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