she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
