Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
