i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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