Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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