will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
