Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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