11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
