I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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