If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Randomize