I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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