And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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