i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize