I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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