Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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