he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
