I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
