I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
birth control should be required to get into college
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize