And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can I color on your dick again?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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