so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
