i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
