Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
