its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
