She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
