Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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