What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize