How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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