i may or may not be watching the land before time
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize