Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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