I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
