I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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