HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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