You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
