she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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