we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
