im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize