if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
