So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
