All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
