Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
