don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
