omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
