Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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