I've blown a few things in my day
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Why is there bacon in the couch?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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