After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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