Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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