Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
