Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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