we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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