I'm so fucking centered right now
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
