oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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