When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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