Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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