Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
