I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
