Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
