FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
