Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
